Something is just nagging at me. Probably several things. I just have this general feeling of despair over my life right now.
I had a day at work where I felt pretty useless and didn't really accomplish much. I really hate that feeling. Amazon is not a bunch of slackers.
I'm severely overweight. My blood pressure is not good. I get headaches too often. I need to diet. I need to quit eating meat. I don't approve of it. If I had to slaughter an animal myself to eat it, I wouldn't... so I shouldn't eat it at all. But I really crave the stuff.
I need to find a home. This is just not easy. It's all about finding the right neighborhood...
Most of all, I'm just far too alone... I have no close friends that I can count on to be a more or less daily part of my life... I have no hope for relationships with women. I am too fat, too old, too self-loathing... I don't believe anyone would want to be with me, certainly not anyone that I might find attractive.
Feeling this way just makes me want to smoke weed every night... I'm gonna smoke a bowl now.
2 comments:
Might the pot be causing some of your issues? I am a fan of smoking but know well enough that my smoking it on a regular basis might have me be a little less motivated, more lethargic and basically not give a shit when I do...
I'm just saying...
Well, it's a reasonable point. Unfortunately, the lack of motivation and despair has been an issue in my life going back to my teen years... and I didn't smoke then. It's only been the last few years that I've been a semi-regular weed smoker.
I haven't actually found that smoking weed at night has much effect on my motivation during the day.
I won't say weed is totally benign... but I don't think it is a primary cause preventing me from taking better care of myself.
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